I Think I Just Found My Next Birthday Present...

Ok, so I'm giving everyone advanced warning - it's my birthday next month.  The 9th to be exact.  Start saving your money.  I'm making it easy for everyone this year.  

I'll let you in on a little secret.  I've always been obsessed with buttons.  Cash register buttons.  Not the cheap one's like at grocery stores, more like the ones at say, Dillards, Target, Bed Bath And Beyond, JoAnne's, Aldo, Albertsons, etc.  The keyboards with the really springy buttons that make a certain "clicking" sound when you touch them.  

When I was a kid, my cousin Tara and I used to sneak and push the cash register buttons at Klein's, our local grocery store (and maybe stole a few packages of Halls cough drops while we were at it WHICH I've since repented for AND used as a great primary lesson, rest in peace, Mr. Klein.)  I've even been known to sneak and push the ones at Dillards a time or two when there wasn't a sales clerk around.  The boys' department is always scarce - a great place to get a little crazy with the cash register, but I'll warn you, they make beeping sounds when you push them, so really, make sure no one is around AND know where the "cancel" button is at all times to destroy the evidence.

I used to purposely write checks out when shopping at Dillards because that meant that they'd have to not only type out my driver's license number, but my routing number and a bunch of other nonsense numbers as well.  The clicking sounded even prettier than the Mormon Tabernacle Choir.

 

Anyhoo, with that being said, I was a tad bit bored this afternoon and was looking on Ebay (which does me no good since Tommy has changed the password due to excessive spendatures on my part), and I happened to find not only the exact keyboard I'm talking about, but the credit card swiper,  the scanner, the receipt printer AND the monitor.  I mean, how awesome is THAT?!  It's even better than the Barbie cash register!!  I wouldn't have to play on Swayze's anymore, which I really bought for myself, not her anyway.

Ok, so I don't really want this for my birthday (yes I do).  Angi, just think of all the endless hours of fun we could have when you're in town!  And if you're extra nice, I might even let you have a few extra turns with the scanner.

It's About That Time Of Year Again...

Well, it seems as though our "winter" season (if you can even call it that) is already coming to a end.  Bummer, because I love any excuse to pull out the 3/4 sleeve shirts to hide my "Relief Society Arms."

Time to bust out the little pink bathing suit and orange creamsicles (minus a little camel-toe action and pee'd- in bathing suit circa, I don't know... 1980 maybe?)

It's gonna be a L-O-N-G summer.

And This Is My "Mother Of The Year" Award...

So I've decided to let Tag try his hand at babysitting a little here and there.  I stay very close, it's typically just a run to the grocery store or so.  I'm making that very clear so I don't get my patootee thrown in jail.  Anyhoo, I went out the other day for a bit and the first thing Tag said when I walked in the door was, "Mom, I seriously canNOT handle babysitting Keagan anymore."  She can be quite and stinker and has given many a babysitter quite a run for their money.  Some have even called (in tears) while I'm out and said to come back home ASAP.

So this is where the "award" part comes in.  As I've mentioned a few posts back, I've had a really hard time finding the right type of punishment that works best with my Keags.  There is no such thing as leverage with her.  Spanking (she doesn't cry), grounding (doesn't care, she's perfectly happy playing all by her lonesome for 2 weeks straight), and washing her mouth out with soap has not seemed to work, however, hot sauce has seemed to do the trick just beautifully.  I personally recommend anything habenero. She loathes it.

So (I'm just realizing I've started the last 3 paragraphs with the word 'so, get over it) after Tag's babysitting debacle, I sent her to her room and out came this little note:

Mom,

I will be good and not bad when Tag babysits so I won't get hot sauce in my mouth.

-Keagan

*And to my own mom, I know you are absolutely loving all this.  Payback has definitely been a biznatch.*

And The "Father Of The Year" Award Goes To...

This is Tommy and Swayze's conversation this morning:

Swayze, coming into our bedroom:  "Dad, Kee-an'th (Keagan) hit me."

Tommy:  "Well, did you smack her back?"

Swayze:  "No."

Tommy:  "Well, go and smack her back."

Swayze, going back into the family room:  "Kee-an, my dad'th thayth to thmack you back!"

It was such a proud moment.

Well, Happy Freaking Birthday To Me!

Today was my Tommy's birthday.  Numero 34.  I went to get the mail today, and look what I found.  The Government's version of a birthday card.  Not one, but TWO photo-radar tickets.  That would make 6 - let me repeat - 6 photo-radar tickets he's had in the last 6 months.  And, mind you, if you look really close, you can see he's trying to be all sneaky and hide behind the sun visor (and he's tried telling me he doesn't know where the cameral traps are.  I'm officially not buying his bologna anymore.  Anyone who lives in the metro Phoenix area knows darn well exactly where these suckers are.) The last time he got a ticket, he claimed the guy in the photo was his business partner.  Unbelievable. And, to top it off, they bought it!!  I'm about ready to sell his car (to pay for these dang things) and make him ride the Metro!  I could've bought at least like 7 pairs of jeans with the dough we're forking out on these babies! 

I have to say on a higher note, I'm glad we got these in the mail.  The "process server," or the dude that serves tickets at your door has been to our house 4 times now.  I think his name is Carl.  He laughs every time he hands us the tickets.  It's getting to be pretty freakin' embarrassing.  We're practically buddies now, in fact, I'm thinking of inviting him over for dinner the next time I see him.

What Is It They Say...

"Thou shalt not covet..."  I know, I know, but whatever.  I do.  I covet this chick.  Ok, maybe envy is the better word.  I envy her hair, her legs, her body.  But not in a jealous, "I hate her, she's prettier than me," sort of way.  I still don't care much for her accent.

Well, anyhoo, I just found out that she's getting hitched.  Congrats my Gisele-Belle!  (even though your "soon-to-be" screwed up my Tommy's "Fantasy Football" this season.)

I know it's pathetic that I know the ins-and-outs of the celebrity world.  If someone asked me who Zephaniah was, I surely couldn't tell you, but ask me any of Brangelina's gazillion kids' names, and I could probably even give you their birth dates.  Sad.

A Girl After My Own Heart...

I walked into the kitchen the other day, and I caught Swayze singing her little heart out in the faucet nozzle.  My sisters and I used to use a turkey baster, hair brush, wooden spoon (on its down-time, when it wasn't being used on our behinds) and so forth.

Gettin' Our Party On...

It's my boy's 34th birthday, and he's throwing himself a big ol' birthday party.  This is the same boy that complains whenever I spend any thing on our {other} kids' parties.  Yes, the same boy who still believes in "Birthday Week."  He had so much fun at our friends' New Year's party, he wanted to do it again.  So anyone who's around next Friday the 16th, please come.  Bring your kids 6 and up and don't forget to bring your fancy leotards.  

Our Own Version Of "The Snuggie..."

No, not this kind of "Snuggie..."

We were eating dinner the other night, and Keagan thought she was going to catch frostbite in this 60-something degree weather.  Can someone actually catch frostbite anyway?  Anyhoo, I found her doing this with Tommy's jacket.  Hey, who needs to spend $19.99 plus shipping and handling when you can jimmy-rig your very own "Snuggie?"  There are just so many wrong things about this name.

Happy New Year!!

Some good friends of ours rented out an ice skating rink last night to ring in the new year.  We had such a blast, even though I totally suck at ice skating.  I think the blue skates added a nice touch.  This picture was taken right before Tommy threw me into a triple lutz.