Wowzers. I think it's time to send my husband to Dr. Phil for some advice on what NOT to say to your wife. That's what my Tommy said to me a few weeks ago when I asked him if he thought I was fat. You'd think those would be his famous last words before I hired a hit man to do him in but... well, I'm still working him to get that gold watch I've been wanting for Mother's Day, so I may need to keep him around a little bit longer. But holy cow - if that's not motivation enough to get my skinny-fat butt to the gym, then I don't know what is. That, and the fact that Lake Powell is exactly one month away. Oh, wait. There was also the time last weekend in Mexico when Jason Douchebeck, (did I say that out loud?) I mean Fishbeck called me an underachiever for not getting up at the butt crack of dawn to ride my bike 30 some odd miles a day with his wifey. Talk about reverse psychology. By the way, he says he only teases the people he really likes.
Anyhoo, this morning will have been my 4th (yes, you heard that right Tommy) day in a row of going to the gym. That also includes no more twice daily Diet Coke runs to Sonic. Sorry N8, Jason, and the cute boy with the nasty neck tattoo that gives me Route 44's at the "happy hour" price, even when it's not really "happy hour." You'll be greatly missed boys. Did I mention I've had a headache and a twitching right eye for the past 4 days straight? I'm not kidding.
I thought I'd be super healthy yesterday and get some wheatgrass juice from Jamba. BIG mistake. I was on the verge of throwing up all day. It's a good thing I only asked for a single shot. Holy moly, I think it would have died had I asked for a double shot. My body hasn't touched so many vitamins in the last couple of years.
Now Dad, I know what you're thinking. You're probably thinking I'm breaching the Word of Wisdom contract by drinking green tea, but something's gotta give. I have to have some sort of caffeine each day. I feel like I'm in my own personal detox this week.
** and don't even think of getting me started on the fact that Tommy is on yet ANOTHER flipppin' boys' trip to apparently the sweetest house in Mexico right now. The private jet, the 2 maids... he even had the cajones (very appropriate wordage might I add) to call me and said, "Words can't even describe how SIK this house is! (as he's getting a smoothie handed to his skinny-A patootee from the chef, poolside I'm sure.) I'M CRANKY!! CAN'T YOU TELL?!**
16 comments:
Ha ha! Shutup already! If I WAS as skinny as you then I wouldn't be living at the gym.... BTW, it was fun chatting with you there yesterday. Wish we could've made it to Mexico with you guys... next time, next time!
Ha ha. R u cursing me for introducing you to Josh? great work!
Well I've never had the wheatgrass smoothie... and don't think I ever will. Getting healthy never hurts, but you really do look fabulous... no worries about that. But you may feel better, at least after about a week of detox. That's what it took for me to get off constant chocolate and sugar. Then it wasn't so bad.
Thanks for coming through for me, Wheezer! I've been checking your blog the past few days, hoping for something entertaining to read about, and you delivered today. Sorry about the headache and the freaky eye, but it made me smile! You're so funny (and way skinny--don't listen to that husband of yours). Hope your tummy feels better today. Love you!
Just remember, those not quite skinny words are coming from Mr. ADD boy with AIDS! You always look fabulous. I'm with Kim, been waiting all week to see something new come up on your blog. Any bets how long it will be before the stalker checks in?
Hello this is the AIDS boy checking the blog to see what Leigh is saying about me today. For the record my words have been mis-translated for all your all's pleasure. Your all welcome
Leigh you have a stalker? That's kinda crazy! And I would like the exact quote from Tommy. Because I know you're skinny! But hey it never hurts to workout. It's become my new drug of choice since I can't get high off of a shoe or denim purchase right now:)
Girl, why are you seriously the funniest thang ever. My Mom may not comment,but I know she comes to your blog weekly for a good laugh. I love that they know you at Sonic. A few weeks ago I was driving through for the second time and the guy says, " Your back again." We had a good laugh. Ohhh how I love me some Sonic and DDP at 7:30 each morning.
You always look good!
NO HE DIDN'T. If I were you... I'd save up all the diapers and have them all waiting in his pillow case for when he comes home and is ready to fall asleep... and the smell shouldn't bother you, as I'm sure his pillow will be on the guest bed or couch after that comment, I'm SURE! Whatever.. you look amazing. We're going to be at Powell for Memorial... what marina are you guys on?
YOu always make me laugh! If you my friend are "not skinny", then I hope and pray I never run into Tommy!
If he thinks you are not skinny...then I should put a bag over my head! You are always so beautiful! I loved your post! It made me laugh!
Ingore your husbands comment. Ellen and I think you are beautiful! Tell Tommy to go jump in a lake.
Detox is the worst! Hang in there and remember...guys suck. They do. They don't have to ever try and look awesome and if they do...it only takes them 1 minute to lose 5 pounds! Not to mention, they weren't the ones to stretch THEIR bodies out to the point of no return for kids. Can you see I'm a little hostile? LOL!
I've got a husband with the same diarrhea mouth problem;) -L. Olson
I think IT'S OUR TURN for the private jet and relaxation... what about you? I am proud of your healthy kick- keep it up- you will eventually start to enjoy it!
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