Rockin' R Ranch

Another successful field trip.

"Will You Still Love Me?"

I would most definately say yes, quadruple chin and all.

Tommy Said, "Absolutely Not."

You must get the FatBooth app! It'll have you belly laughing for hours!

My Thoughts, Exactly...

I'm in a bad mood tonight and am not really feelin' the love. How lame is that?? Oh well...ask me if I really care.

I recently found THE best wedding card with these words:

IN-LAWS...

The one thing you receive on your wedding day you can't return or exchange.

Tommy, Much?

Anyone who lives in the Phoenix area is familiar with the Hastings and Hastings billboard. Anyone who knows Tommy would agree these two could be mistaken for a father/son duo.

San Francisco

A few weeks ago, we had the chance to spend a few days in San Francisco with our friends, the Ridgeways. We had a really great time. Some of the highlights were:

the lovely view of the construction crane out our window,

A scary resemblance of the "Unibomber,"

however, he's definitely more of a lover, not a fighter.

We kept seeing Santas and sluttly elves all day, so we finally stopped one and asked what was going on. It was "Santa Con" night, where everyone dresses up and parties all day and all night. Notice this Santa's special package... you're welcome Mom.

Ghirardelli (we hit it twice),

Did I mention we were on a trip with the Ridgeways? There always has to be a workout of some sort, so we rented tandem bikes and rode from Pier 40something, across the Golden Gate Bridge to BFE, otherwise known as Sausalito. I would not recommend wearing a peacoat, skinny jeans and leopard print flats for that long of a ride.

The best part was cheating and making Tommy do most of the work (payback for our kayaking treck in Hawaii when I had to do ALL the work)!

It was almost worth it in the end. Almost.

Tommy said, "Don't act like you've never been in a Nordstrom before." This was 5 levels of pure shopping bliss.

Lombard Street

And the best part of the trip would have to be our late-night trip to a massage parlor for foot massages. Marcus and Keisa made us walk like 100 miles this whole trip and our feet were hammered. We saw this little shop and walked upstairs and asked for foot rubs. The ladies looked at us like we were crazy. Is it a bad sign when they whip out the petroleum jelly? Major red flag. Hopefully you get where I'm going with this - I'm pretty much thinking it wasn't a foot rub parlor, more like a "happy ending" massage joint. Gag. I realized it was too late to abort the mission. Worst foot massage ever. I think those ladies were used to rubbing other things. Funny how Tommy wanted to go back the next day.

Fun With Friends and Santa.

This year, instead of doing the annual mall Santa thing, our friends decided to have Santa over at their place, and lucky us got the invite. Thanks for a great party Arnett's! I'm really hoping you'll make this an annual tradition, (hint hint)!

And thanks for the Kazoos, Santa (not)! I'm ready to throw them down the toilet!

We're Trying To Catch A Cat...

Instead, this is what we keep finding. A black weiner dog. What a flippin' dummy.

DAGNABBIT!!

Well, we just finished our 3rd year in a row for the annual school Spelling Bee. Tag was super stoked to be in it again. I told him beforehand, not to get too cocky because he's the oldest one there. I made him promise me he wouldn't embarrass me and lose it on an easy word. He did so well. He ended up getting second place to a 5th grade girl, nonetheless. Poor guy, in his mind, getting 2nd place is worse that last place.

His word?

Autonomous (please tell me no one has ever even heard that word before)?? When the lady gave him the word, he laughed and asked her to repeat it twice and use it in a sentence. TWICE.

And the word the 5th grade goody-goody won it on?

CRYSTAL. Keagan knew how to spell that word in Kindergarten.

I call major bullshiz on that one. (in fact, I think Tommy even said, that's bullS&*!@ out loud).

Yep, the Stapleys' are sore losers.

I Wish I Were Making This Up...

The other day, Keagan asked me for a stamp because they were writing letters to parents. I was excited to read my sweet little letter, and instead, this is what I got:

Dear Mom,

Do you remember when you thought you were fat? I think you are not fat at all! Hey Dad, do you remember when you thought you looked weird in your pants? I thought you looked as handsome as a prince. Can you possibly get me the D.S. game called Super Mario Brothers for Christmas?

Love, as much as much as fish love water,

Keagan

Funny of The Day...

I swear, I could write a book on some of the texting conversations I have on a daily basis with my husband. For your reading pleasure:

Me: I now know that my OnStar officially doesn't work. Swayze pushed to button and it said it is deactivated. What if I'm stranded in the desert someday and die? You would be sad for being such a cheapo.

Tommy: Your phone works everywhere you drive.

Me: Not true. What if I crash and am paraplegic and can't reach my phone?

Tommy: And your cute little husband (he said it, not me) is sweet that you have the nicest phone available with unlimited text and calling.

Me: Unless you're wanting to trade me in early for a 19 year old bimbo...

Tommy: Then you would not want to live anyway because I would do your makeup.

Me: And want me to die in the desert...

Tommy: I didn't say that.

Tommy: All I said was I know you would rather be dead than a quadropalegic than have someone else do your makeup and hair.

Ok, you win.