And the winner of the best comment on "I Came THIS Close!" goes to.......
My sister, Kim. Lucky girl! She gets an all-expense (on her dime) weekend with my Keagan!! No really, I couldn't do that to her. She has 5 kids and 1 husband that acts like one, too. (Eric, you know I love you sometimes!)
This was her bestest advice:
"Here's an idea...why don't you let her spank YOU and tell her that you need to be punished for your failings as a mother? That seemed to work well for Mom! Hee! Hee! I'll never forget that day when Mom handed you the wooden spoon and you got that crazy-happy look in your eyes and tore into her bum! She told me that idea didn't work out quite like she had planned."
Ok, so here's the story. It's an oldy but a goody. It usually just so happened that when one of us sister's got in trouble, the other ones were involved, and I can't even remember what we had done to make my mom fly off the handle, but she decided to do a little "reverse-psychology" on us. She told us how she was such an awful mom, and that it must be her fault why we were always so naughty. Now, when we got spanked, it was quite the routine. My parents would make us line up kneeling against the couch and we would all get the same amount of spankings. I swear, I think I always got an extra few. And did I mention the notoriously famous "wooden spoon?!?!" That damn spoon, yes that's right, I said damn. I HATED that thing!! It was sort of oval shaped and had little slits in it. I think my parents started using it because it started hurting their hands too much. They tried a few different spoons, one was more paddly and wide and didn't hurt as bad, and I should've just kept my fat mouth shut and cried anyway, but they figured out that it wasn't doing the trick, so they moved on to the (damn) oval slitted one!
Anyhoo, back to my story. So my mom tells us that WE should spank HER for our punishment, and of course my sisters were the being the biggest weenies EVER and were crying gigantor crocodile tears and said, "We cccaannnn'tt ddoo iitt!" They barely even tapped her. So it was FINALLY my turn, and boy almighty, I took full advantage of the situation. I spanked her butt SOOOOO hard (and maybe a few too many times), but I knew this was gonna be my one and only chance, so I repeat, FULL ADVANTAGE. I think she learned her lesson. Turned out her bright idea came back and bit her in the butt. (I mean spanked her in the butt.)
Now I can't say I would try the same thing with Keags, because she has some of my demon child attributes as well, and I think we can all guess what she'd do!
Thanks for the great advice everyone! We can all breathe a big sigh of relief. I haven't listed her on Ebay - yet. (It probably doesn't help that Tommy changed the Ebay password, so my shopping privileges have been revoked, go figure.)
15 comments:
Just so you know, I can still VIVIDLY remember how badly that spoon hurt! BAD psychology. I learned that in Relief Society, by the way.
Mom
I always thought of you girls as perfect angels- :} Very cute picture- like the matching dresses in different colors- sweet.
VERY funny. I think we all now know why you have been blessed with little Keags. Ever heard the saying "A wild goose doesn't lay tame eggs" ? Look how cute you were though- tiny little Leigh!
Darn that Relief Society! That was very risky of your Mom, geesh!
Leigh...just want you know that your Keagan is an angel at my home! You are doing a great job and may not see it at home. I don't think any of us do. Kids are always the worst with mom...what does that say for us? I do not know but I try not to take it personal! Hang in there!
Is that Tag with a wig? :)
Classic. I love it.
That story cracks me up! I love the picture too! We had a wooden spoon too...luckily my behind wasn't the target very often. It was mostly for putting the "scare" into us!
Your blog makes me laugh every time I check on it... Maybe we should be glad we don't live by each other anymore, because I think Keagon and my Swayze could really get in some trouble!!! And don't fill bad about telling her she is going to live with her uncle in the getto. I tell Steel all the time that I'm going to take him back to the store and return him, and get a new Steel. {He doesn't get the whole where did we come from thing.}
Keagan has spunk! LOVE that girl!
My mom used to threaten to "sell us to the Indians"!! So politically incorrect I know!
I don't know who you are but you are the freaking funniest person ever!! And you are friends with just about every person I know in Arizona. I hopped onto your blog from my brother's (Dave Funk) and now I read yours whenever I need a good laugh. You are hilarious!
Leigh...I am so glad you found me!! Your blog is so cute!! I gotta say...I will take Keagan any day of the week for you!! I have never seen my Anna have more fun than when she came over!! If you throw Swayze in...I will take them for a whole weekend!! :)
I love reading your blog! YOu crack me up!!! I just spent the last 20 min reading all of the posts I have missed...tell tommy I am going to make a copy of that picture and hang it on my frig too!
Amazing story. I am laughing out loud. I can just see it, and I can hear your voice telling to story- too funny!
Yay for me! I'll have to get the guest room all ready for my little guest! I feel so honored to have won this incredible prize...I'd like to thank my parents, the academy...just kidding. Any (and all) of you are welcome to come any time!
Kim
Post a Comment